Single Person Can Lead a Peaceful Life


Every evening as dusk sets in, he sits in his rocking chair nursing a Scotch and listening to old Hindi film songs. The day I last saw him in Hyderabad, the strains of Mohammed Rafi's Dekhi zamane ki yaari…bichchde sabhi baari-baari….impregnated the air.But, instead of the melancholia that drips from Guru Dutt's sets in Kagaz ke Phool, there was a calm surrounding Jyotirmaya, a sense of peace and a day well spent. No broken heart here, just a man unwinding after a day at work…. His dinner is ready and waiting, his next choice out of a collection of 3000 movies in the DVD player, awaiting the click of a remote button. A book lies next to his bed in what seems to be exactly the position he left off reading it the night before. No female presence or kiddie clutter disturbs the even tenor of his existence.

Life is the way he loves it…Cut to another home in another city.Anuradha (not her real name) is a busy professional juggling career and home, handling a daughter singlehanded and loving it. Her bedroom is done up in soft, feminine colours and the books and music racks house just her choices. She savours her mornings and is extremely possessive about that time when, daughter sent off to school, she relaxes, looking at the trees outside her window, reflecting, reading the papers and sipping nimbupani. Mother and daughter have a mutually satisfactory routine and keep their weekends busy with movies and friends when they are not exploring the city. Ask her if she feels the lack of a male presence at home, and she laughs, "Male? What's that?! No, seriously, where is the space for a male in this house or in my life? Why would I want someone to make an insidious entry into my life and uproot my very existence?" Point.It's not an easy state to achieve, but once set in your routine and after you have settled life's little matters and tied the loose ends, a single person can possibly lead a far more peaceful and satisfying life if he or she sets her mind to it than many married couples.

Yes of course, at times the heart may feel lonely and twinges of regret may make their presence felt, but on the whole a life where you are answerable largely to just yourself cannot be bad.How long can one keep looking for Mr Perfect or Ms Perfect? There has to come a time when you give up looking and settle down to what you have. And those who come to this conclusion early and start building a life for just themselves are the ones who, like Jyotirmaya and Anuradha, achieve a sense of peace and come to terms with single life. And soon there comes a time when they wrap life so securely and comfortably around themselves that there is no scope left for another human entering that space.It's not a selfish or self-centred existence really; it's just a full life that gets fuller each time these singles introduce yet another passion. The kind of passions that have to be put off by others whose spirits strive to reach beyond the usual responsibilities of life.

Let's get this clear; it's not a libertine view that these singles are propagating, nor are they flying against the institution of marriage. We are talking here of people who in the state of singlehood, decide to make the best of an existence that precariously straddles the line between a satisfied fullness and an unending search for an elusive companion. Having knit their lives into a pattern that keeps them busy, fruitfully occupied and happy, they are at peace with themselves. Friendships acquire a deeper meaning for them and they are ready to go out on a limb for a friend.One may well ask what about the need for companionship, sexual gratification or support in old age and illness? Jyotirmaya has an interesting answer for this. "These are three distinct needs that once segregated, provide an amazing clarity. Friends can provide you great companionship; I have seldom seen a couple who are great conversationalists or companions after some years of marriage! Sex can be disengaged from marriage surely in this day and age! As for looking after in sickness and old age, what guarantee that children would do the needful, or even that a spouse will outlast you?" Who can refute this logic?Add to that the fact that as multi-dimensional creatures we cannot hope to satisfy all our needs in just one person.

We have so many diverse needs and aspirations, that each one of us, if we are to be fully satisfied, needs a battery of friends and companions available to us. And a single person is free to pick and choose any, at any time.Movies, books, music, artistic pursuits, social work, parties, apart from your choice of profession - contemporary life offers a wide range of activities and indulgences that consume and stimulate you enough not to actually miss being part of a couple. However, beyond all this, there is still that very natural need to connect with another adult, to have someone you can use as a sounding board, share your thoughts and passions and plan holidays with. Same sex friend is the easiest answer, one that society too approves of. And yet, there is also the need to have companions of the opposite sex, or you somewhat lose out on one aspect, one important perspective of life.

Friends of the opposite sex are just as important as same sex companions. What's wrong with that? Someone you can share some magical moments with and then retreat to the cocoon of your own satisfactory existence. It just helps complete the circle.Just because you are alone need never mean you are lonely. With a life so full with interests, friends, passions, there is no scope or time to get bored.

7 Important Weight Loss Diet Tips


Nearly everyone has been on a weight loss diet once or twice, there are too many diets to count these days. Propaganda floods us with hundreds of new weight loss dietsweekly. There is a very good chance that some of these weight loss diets have created some short term weight loss, the problem is that the weight always comes back. Your skinny jeans become your tight jeans, you can't throw them away since you will get thin again so you store them away, along with your fantasies of once again wearing a size 6.

You may be feeling as if you have lost at your weight loss system when the reality is that it's not your fault it didn't work. didn't work for you it doesn't mean you have failed, it simply means that the diet it's self is a bad one.|If a diet doesn't work, it's the fault of the diet not you. Don't let yourself have bad feelings because of a lousy weight loss diet.|A lot of diets just do not work, you must not take it personally if a particular diet isn't helping you to lose weight permanently} Some of the diets that result in prolonged weight gain are created specifically for short term results, the result is that they don't get to the cause of the problem. People who create diets create a list of foods you can eat and then they let you know when and how you can eat it. What they don't do is tell you how to change your thinking. You can use a short term weight loss diet for special occasions, however you have to have a long term plan in place or the results will be all in vain.

The key to a permanent weight loss plan, is to learn a way of being in charge of your thoughts. When you have got this step down then all you need to do is apply it to your every day life, then throw away all the clothes in your closet and go shopping for new ones that fit. Giving yourself the power to accomplish such goals is really the biggest step. When you become successful at this task, you will be able to apply it to everything else in your life.

The general belief is that we are powerless to the mighty calls of sweet and fattening comfort foods. These are all lies. It is common knowledge that we all have the ability to achieve anything. Look at child birth as an example, if a woman can get through that she can do anything.

The key to making a weight loss diet work is to make it fun for yourself. Choose foods that you really love and thatfit in with your weight loss diet outdoor games for exercise. voleyball, swimming, tennis or what ever you enjoy. Whatever you decide to do or eat is completely up to you. Make it a good life.